Why I can't be friends with "values voters"

So I was watching part of the values voters summit.  What I heard was "blah, blah, blah, we are all going to hell."  Right... I've heard this before, and while I was initially concerned, I'm over it.  

What did catch my attention is the speaker, in an attempt to be self-congratulatory, told a story about a time when he gave a speech to a group of young people.  Apparently, he "inspired" some young man to take on a mission to get Gossip Girl off the air.  And that was a victory because he had brought someone on to the right path...  or some shit.  

And everyone claps and says, yes, yes, we must get Gossip Girl off the air.  Gossip Girl is destroying our world...  McCain 08!  He is old, I bet he wants Gossip Girl off the air, too!  And Sarah Palin DEFINITELY hates Gossip Girl because she loves Jesus.  

Ok, so here is why we can't be friends... 

With all of the actual bad things going on in the world...  you know, global warming, AIDS in Africa, genocide in Darfur, two wars in which innocent people die EVERY DAY....  You mean to tell me you don't have bigger fish to fry than Gossip Girl...  

All those Godless liberals want to talk about is ending wars and saving the environment...  When are those assholes going to get their priorities straight?

So, here is my advice, values voter:  You don't like Gossip Girl?  Get a damn V-Chip...  or better yet, change the channel when it comes on, maybe EWTN is more your speed than the CW anyway.

If you really want to save the world, drive a Prius.